5 Questions to Ask Before a Playdate

Playdates are a fun way for children to develop friendships and learn important social skills. Visiting another family’s home will also expose your child to a new environment.

Before the playdate, it’s a good idea to talk with the other parent about household habits, rules and expectations. It’s also a great opportunity to share any important details about your child―like a food or pet allergy or other health issues.

Here are a few important questions to ask:

1. Who will be watching the children?

​Will a parent be home, or will another adult caregiver be home? Will older siblings, other adults or relatives be there? If it’s a sleepover, it’s a good idea to understand who will be in the home when your child is there, including other relatives or adults. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, you can suggest your child have a “late over,” with fun pajama time, games or a movie, and then come home when it’s time to sleep.

2. Do you have a swimming pool, trampoline, or any other things that are potentially unsafe?

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends pools be surrounded by a four-foot high, four-sided fence with a self-latching gate, so that kids can’t easily enter without supervision. If swimming is planned, ask who will supervise. Whenever children under age 5 are in or around water, an adult―preferably one who knows how to swim and perform CPR―should be within arm’s length, providing “touch supervision.” Older children and teens who know how to swim should also have an adult supervising them.

​​Trampolines are popular among children and teens, but cause thousands of injuries every year, especially to children under age 6. Injuries often happen when more than one person is using the trampoline. Because injuries are so common, the AAP recommends trampolines never be used at home, but if they are used, supervising adults should limit jumpers to one at a time.

3. Do you have any guns in your house?

Roughly one-third of U.S. homes with children have a gun, and many of these are left unlocked or loaded. Just talking to a child about the dangers of firearms is not enough. Children are naturally curious. If a gun is accessible in someone’s home, there is a good chance a child will find it and play with it. Tragedies have occurred when kids found guns that parents thought were hidden.

​​If the home your child is visiting does have a gun, ask how it is stored. All guns should be stored unloaded and locked up, with the ammunition locked up separately. If you are uncomfortable with the answer, you can offer to host the kids at your house instead.

4. What are your rules about screen media use?

Families have different rules about what kind of movies or video games are allowed. If you don’t want your child to watch movies that are rated higher than PG or PG-13, or to play a video game rated higher than E, let the other parent know. You can explain you don’t think your child is ready for more mature content yet.

To research whether a particular movie or game is ok for your child, use a site like Common Sense Media, which offers detailed reviews and ratings on movies, TV shows, apps and video games.

5. What pets are in the house?

If the family has a pet, ask if it’s friendly. Let the parent know if your child is nervous or scared around animals. More than any other age group, children are the most frequent victims of animal bites.

It’s ok if the conversation feels a little awkward. The other parent is likely to be glad you asked―and you can volunteer the same information about your home for the next time the kids get together.


Source: American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018). The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.


Teaching Children Cultural and Racial Pride

​For generations, immigrant parents in this country have taught their children to love their roots. They have passed down their language, their values, their beliefs, and traditions to their children with the same love they were passed down to them.

WATCH: In this video, click here, AAP Pediatrician Edith Bracho-Sanchez, MD offers important advice to parents about the importance of teaching children to honor differences in others, and to celebrate the way in which we all contribute to American society. 9

LISTEN: Teaching Empathy & Compassion

Empathy starts with understanding other people’s emotions and feelings. Kids have to get in touch with their own emotions and feelings first. You can’t understand emotions unless you communicate face-to-face. Talk through what could help others feel better so your child understands how others feel. Then, expand your child’s experiences through travel and reading, and encourage community involvement.

Want to learn more? CLICK HERE to listen to podcast with host Melanie Cole, MS.

 

Talking to Children about Racial Bias

By Ashaunta Anderson, MD, MPH, MSHS, FAAP & Jacqueline Dougé, MD, MPH, FAAP

Given the tragic and racially-charged current events, many parents are wrestling with their own feelings, the hopes they have for their children, and the difficulty of helping those children thrive in a world full of racial bias.

Parents may better face today’s challenges with an understanding of how racial bias works in children, as well as strategies to help them deal with and react to racial differences.

How Do Children Learn Racial Bias?

Children learn about racial differences and racial bias from an early age and learn from their first teachers — their parents — how to deal with and react to these differences.

The process of learning racial bias is a lot like learning a new language (e.g., a child raised bilingual vs. a child who starts learning Spanish in junior high). Biology determines a critical early learning period as well as a later window where learning is much harder.

  • As early as 6 months, a baby’s brain can notice race-based differences.
  • By ages 2 to 4, children can internalize racial bias.
  • By age 12, many children become set in their beliefs—giving parents a decade to mold the learning process, so that it decreases racial bias and improves cultural understanding.

But like language immersion, children exposed to society will gain fluency in racial bias even if their parents do nothing.

Strategies to Help Children Deal with Racial Bias

There are three strategies that parents can use to help their children deal with racial bias:

  • Talk to your children and acknowledge that racial differences and bias exist.
  • Confront your own bias and model how you want your children to respond to others who may be different than them.
  • Encourage your children to challenge racial stereotypes and racial bias by being kind and compassionate when interacting with people of all racial, ethnic, and cultural groups.

How Parents Can Confront Their Own Racial Bias

Parents must first confront their own biases, so that their example is consistent with messages of racial and ethnic tolerance.

  • Be a role model. Identify and correct your own racially biased thoughts, feelings, and actions. If you want your children to believe what you preach, you have to exhibit those behaviors as well. Your everyday comments and actions will say more than anything else.
  • Have a wide, culturally diverse social network. Encourage your children to have diverse circles of friends, as well. This lends itself to engagement in multicultural activities and experiences.
  • Travel and expose your children to other communities. This can help them understand that there is diversity in the world that might not be represented in the community that you live in.
  • Do not reverse stereotype police officers and other groups or talk about law enforcement in a negative way.
  • Get involved in your child’s school, your place of worship, and politics. Parents who are involved in this way are better able to advocate for fair treatment of racially marginalized groups and raise awareness of race issues in other groups.

Tips for Talking About Racial Differences & Racism

Talking about race is not racist. It’s OK—and important. From a young age, children may have questions about racial differences and parents must be prepared to answer them. But, it’s important to keep your child’s developmental readiness in mind.

  • For preschoolers: At this age, your child may begin to notice and point out differences in the people around you (i.e., at the grocery store, at the park, etc.). If your child asks about someone’s skin tone, you might say, “Isn’t it wonderful that we are all so different!” You can even hold your arm against theirs to show the differences in skin tones in your family.
  • For gradeschoolers: This is the age that is important to have open talks with your child about race, diversity, and racism. Discussing these topics will help your child see you as a trusted source of information on the topic, and he or she can come to you with any questions. Point out stereotypes and racial bias in media and books such as villains or “bad guys” in movies.
  • If your child makes comments or asks you questions about race based on school incidents or something they read or watched: Further the discussion with questions such as, “How do you feel about that?” and “Why do you think that?” This is also helpful if your child heard something insensitive or if your child experienced racial bias themselves. Before responding to his or her statement or question, figure out where it came from and what it means from his or her perspective.

These conversations begin to lay the groundwork for your child to accept and respect everyone’s differences and similarities. As children mature, the answers to questions will become more complex. These are moments to learn what your child understands or is struggling to understand about racial bias.

Remember:

To create a culture of inclusiveness, we all must look at and acknowledge our biases, so we can do something about the ones that are unfair or cause harm to others—like racial bias. Understanding the way people feel about and behave toward those outside their own group can help communities heal after a tragedy, as well as prevent future ones.


Author: Ashaunta Anderson, MD, MPH, MSHS, FAAP & Jacqueline Dougé, MD, MPH, FAAP. Source: American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2016). The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.


Protecting & Preparing Children for Life’s Lessons

You can both protect your child from life’s dangers and prepare him or her for life’s challenges.

In this video, pediatrician and adolescent specialist Ken Ginsburg, MD, FAAP discusses boundaries, how to “get out of the way,” and how to guide your child to thinking through situations wisely and safely.


Source: Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings, 3rd Edition (Copyright © 2015 Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MS Ed, FAAP, and Martha M. Jablow) The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

Energy Out: Daily Physical Activity Recommendations

​Physical activity in children and adolescents improves strength and endurance, builds healthy bones and lean muscles, develops ​ motor skills and coordination, reduces fat, and promotes emotional well-being (reduces feelings of depression and anxiety). Activities should be appropriate for their age and fun, as well as offer variety.

The daily recommendation for physical activity for children 6 years and older is at least 60 minutes per day. Active play is the best exercise for younger children.

The types of physical activity should be moderate to vigorous. Vigorous activity is activity that makes you breathe hard and sweat. During vigorous activity, it would be difficult to have a talk with someone. Some activities, such as bicycling, can be of moderate or vigorous intensity, depending upon level of effort.

The 60 minutes does not need to be done all at once. Physical activity can be broken down into shorter blocks of time. For example, 20 minutes walking to and from school, 10 minutes jumping rope, and 30 minutes at the playground all add up to 60 minutes of physical activity. If your child is not active, start from where you are and build from there.

Here are some types of sports and activities for children and teens (and parents, too!)

Aerobic Exercises

  • Use body’s large muscle groups
  • Strengthen the heart and lungs
  • Examples of moderate-intensity aerobic exercises include: brisk walking, Bicycle riding, dancing,hiking, rollerblading, skateboarding, martial arts such as karate or tae kwon do (can be vigorous too)
  • Examples of vigorous-intensity aerobic activities include: basketball, bicycle riding, games such as tag, ice or field hockey, jumping rope, martial arts, running, soccer, swimming, tennis

Muscle-Strengthening (or Resistance) Activities

  • Work major muscle groups of the body (legs, hips, back, abdomen, chest, shoulder, arms)
  • Examples of muscle-strengthening activities include: games such as tug-of-war, push-ups or modified push-ups (with knees on the floor), resistance exercises using body weight or resistance bands, rope or tree climbing, sit-ups (curl-ups or crunches), swinging on playground equipment/bars

Bone-Strengthening (Weight-Bearing) Activities

  • Tone and build muscles and bone mass
  • Can be aerobic exercises and muscle-strengthening activities
  • Examples of bone-strengthening activities include: basketball, hopping, skipping, jumping, gymnastics, jumping rope, running, tennis, volleyball, push-ups, resistance exercises using body weight or resistance bands

About Strength Training

Strength training(or resistance training) uses a resistance to increase an individual’s ability to exert force. It involves the use of weight machines, free weights, bands or tubing, or the individual’s own body weight. This is not the same as Olympic lifting, power lifting, or body building, which are not recommended for children. Check with your child’s doctor before starting any strength training exercises.


Source: Energy In Energy Out: Finding the Right Balance for Your Children (Copyright © 2014 American Academy of Pediatrics). The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.


Healthy New Year’s Resolutions for Children & Teens

The start of the new year is a great time to help your children focus on forming good habits. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) provides the following list of ideas for you to talk to your children about trying, depending on their age. ​

Preschoolers

  • I will try hard to clean up​ my toys by putting them where they belong.
  • I will let my parents help me brush my teeth twice a day.
  • I will wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.
  • I will learn how to help clear the table when I am done eating.
  • I will be friendly to all animals. I will learn how to ask the owners if I can pet their animal first.
  • I will do my best to be nice to other kids who need a friend or look sad or lonely.
  • I will talk with my parent or a trusted adult when I need help or am scared.

Kids, 5 to 12 years old

  • I will drink reduced-fat milk​ and water most days. Soda and fruit drinks are only for special times.
  • I will take care of my skin by putting on sunscreen before I go outdoors on bright, sunny days. I will try to remember to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat and sunglasses, especially when I’m playing sports.
  • I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer) or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike) that I like and do it at least three times a week!
  • I will always wear a helmet when riding a bike, scooter or skateboard.
  • I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car. I’ll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.
  • I’ll try to be friendly to kids who may have a hard time making friends by asking them to join activities such as sports or games.
  • I will tell an adult about bullying that I see or hear about to do what I can to help keep school safe for everyone.
  • I will keep my personal info safe and not share my name, home address, school name or telephone number on the Internet. Also, I’ll never send a picture of myself to someone I chat with on the computer without asking my parent if it is okay.
  • I will try to talk with my parent or a trusted adult when I have a problem or feel stressed.
  • I promise that I’ll do my best to follow our household rules for videogames and internet use.

Kids, 13 years old and older

  • I will try to eat two servings of fruit and two servings of vegetables every day. I will drink sodas only at special times.
  • I will do my best to take care of my body through fun physical activity and eating the right types and amounts of foods.
  • When I have some down time for media, I will try to choose educational, high-quality nonn-violent TV shows and video games that I enjoy. I will spend only one to two hours each day – at the most – on these activities. I promise to respect out household rules for videogames and internet use.
  • I will do what I can to help out in my community. I will give some of my time to help others, working with community groups or others that help people in need. These activities will make me feel better about myself and my community.
  • When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break and find helpful ways to deal with the stress, such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or talking about my problem with a parent or friend.
  • When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk about my choices with an adult whom I can trust.
  • When I notice my friends are struggling, being bullied or making risky choices, I will look for a trusted adultso that we can attempt to find a way to help.
  • I will be careful about whom I choose to date. I will treat the other person with respect and not force them to do something they do not want to do. I will not use violence. I will expect to be treated the same way in return.
  • I will resist peer pressure to try tobacco-cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol. I will also avoid the use of e-cigarettes.
  • I agree not to use a cell phone or text message while driving and to always use a seat belt.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018). The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.


The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Child

For you to care for your child properly, you need to be OK.​ In this video, pediatrician and adolescent specialist Ken Ginsburg, MD, FAAP discusses that the greatest gifts you can give your child are to live a balanced life and to show that when life offers us challenges, we take active steps to get back on track.​


Source: Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Kids Roots and Wings, 3rd Edition (Copyright © 2015 Kenneth R. Ginsburg, MD, MS Ed, FAAP, and Martha M. Jablow). The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.


Holiday Food Safety Tips

Whether it is holiday cookies, perogies, roast goose, latke or tamales, foods are an important ingredient of holiday celebrations. Teaching children to cook your family’s recipes can impart ethnic identity and culture, and offers a sense of accomplishment for young chefs. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers some tips to keep holiday feasting fun and healthy:

  • When preparing food for a holiday celebration, follow food safety guidelines. Bacteria are often present in raw foods. Fully cook meats and poultry, and thoroughly wash raw vegetables and fruits.
  • While you’re teaching your children family recipes, also teach them about good food safety. Wash your hands frequently, and make sure children do the same.
  • If you offer your helper a taste, be sure to wash the spoon before putting it back into the food.
  • Make sure that taste doesn’t include raw eggs or other ingredients that should be cooked before be eaten.
  • During preparations for a party, the refrigerator and freezer can become crowded with with sweets, roasts and other goodies, but don’t let these become breeding grounds for bacteria. Always keep raw foods and cooked foods separate, and use separate utensils when preparing them.
  • Always thaw meat in the refrigerator, never on the countertop.
  • Keep hot food and liquids away from the edges of counters and tables, where they can be easily knocked over by a young child’s exploring hands. Be sure that young children cannot access microwave ovens. Turn pot handles toward the side or back of the stove.
  • Foods that require refrigeration should never be left at room temperature for more than two hours.
  • After a holiday party, clean up immediately. A toddler could rise early and choke on leftover food or come in contact with alcohol or tobacco.

Source: American Academy of Pediatrics (Copyright © 2018). The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.